I used to have this thing, when playing Cities Skilines or games like it, where I remembered it existed, get really excited because I do like city-builders, social games and the like, play it rather obsessively that day usually forgetting to go to sleep, and then not touching the game again for a year or more.
I am now, however slowly, weaning myself off of this, dipping into the game for an hour or two when I think of something to do or get inspired, doing what I can think of and then just closing the game again when I get bored. There is something strange about this to me, since I somehow get the feeling I don't like the game if I can't obsess about it which isn't true, so being able to do this is in a way a learning experience.
It feels like, this tendency to want to have something to do that consumes every fiber of my being for the time I am doing it and anything less is not even worth considering to do makes actually enjoying smaller things more difficult to me, to the point of when I can't dedicate a significant chunk of time to doing something I tend to kind of aimlessly sit at the computer, bored, but unable to start anything since I feel like I don't have the time. Now, there are probably other contributing factors as well to this feeling, and wanting something one enjoys very much to do isn't a bad thing in and of itself, but the point where it is with me where I have difficulties doing things I enjoy because it doesn't feel worth it getting started on doing them, well that feels like a bad thing.
So far, I have been moderately succesful in this endeavor, in that I am still at times dipping into Cities Skylines specifically when I find the time and motivation and that of course varies but is still somewhat constant, and generally ends up being at least a couple of times a month. However, it hasn't been necessarily an easy task doing so and I feel there is a rather big amount of additional work and time invested that goes into it on my part, especially since I rather often end up watching videos on other people doing builds which then inspire me to actually start playing again—it isn't really something I all that often find the motivation to do on my own. Even then, that also isn't always succesful in inspiring me and I do definitely watch the videos more often than I end up actually playing the game, which does mean I am in a sense keeping invested in the game even though I might not be playing it myself at the time, which perhaps through a cruel twist of fate actually makes me less likely to play it since I already get my fix as it were through other people's experiences.
So it is a question of inspiration or am I actually sabotaging my own motivation? I honestly don't know at this time, all I know is I want to do things more often but actually doing things is so much effort that it never ends up happening, so maybe living through others during those times is good so that I don't just end up staring at the ceiling—or maybe the opposite is true, and I need that boredom without other stimulus in order to motivate me to change things? Not sure, and this has gone enough off the rails already as it is, so I'm going to end it here, but I guess there was even more to this topic than I thought and I might have to have a long think about some things.