Letters

I have always had something of a fascination with "old-school" methods of communication, from relatively recent things like e-mail to the original long-distance communication method: letters. I'm not really sure where this fascination comes from, since I am on the other hand also someone who likes modernity and technology a great deal, but maybe it is exactly the eccentricity or the effort involved that makes it have more of a personal feel that draws me to them.

Now, this does not mean that I have spent a great deal of time in the past writing letters or sending postcards, I think I sent a letter in elementary school once and since then nothing else really, but having my mother read some old letters that her mother and other older relatives had sent in their youth along with a general desire to explore this communication method made me start sending letters. I haven't as of yet sent many, well two to be exact and only one has arrived so far, but the reception so far has been very positive, they noted it was very sweet and personal to receive something like that. I think it was a combination of choosing to send a handwritten letter instead of printed that contributed to that feeling, along with it being such a rare occurance in today's society that it simply stands out.

One of the reasons that I have sent so few letters as of yet and and a problem I am discovering is, that for many people who would be the most suitable for this kind of communication on account of me not actually talking or chatting with them that much otherwise at the moment, I actually don't have the address for. These are people whom I know rather well and have a decent amount to do with in the past and might even know where they live, just simply not what to write on an envelope so that it reaches them. I could, of course, simply ask them, but that would kind of spoil the surprise.

So, at the moment, it does at times feel a bit silly writing letters to someone I already at the very least chat with pretty much daily, though it does provide the opportunity to communicate in a different way about different things when writing something a bit more long form, and it is quite simply nice to have someone to write letters to since I do enjoy it, and perhaps it only being one person does make it a bit more special for the two of us.

Even then, I think this is something I want to expand upon in the future, probably start writing my parents in the summer since we don't see each other quite as often then, and possibly other people once I find a fitting excuse or way to get their address without raising too much suspicion.

Misc

Writer's block

I seem to have, once again, come to something of a slump when it comes to my writing, or rather my motivation to do it. I'm not even sure that it's a case of motivation, though it does definitely play a part in it all since I'm having difficulty actually sitting down and starting to produce something, anything, but also a matter of not being quite certain what I want to write about and what I should write about the matter I don't know I want to write about.

Now, I have been smart enough in the past to save some ideas in my drafts that I can simply take and start writing about which is exactly what I ended up doing last week. But the problem with that arrangement is that when I simply force myself to do it out of a feeling of obligation the fun does disappear to a degree and, for me at least, what I produce takes a hit since I can't truly motivate myself to actually think about what I'm writing. So having access to a sampling of ideas of what to write about is great, but I do then also have to feel like actually writing about one of those things in order for the whole ordeal to actually go anywhere moderately sensible.

I did also mention a feeling of obligation, which is somewhat silly, since the obligation is to myself alone since it was my decision to try and keep up this pace of one article a week and last week for some reason just ended up being particularily bad where I at no point really had the motivation to truly write anything. It wasn't the first time I've written the post the night before, but it was the first time I can remember where I truly had no idea what I wanted to say and just put out something, anything, in order to fulfill this constraint I set upon myself.

The question then naturally follows, what am I doing about this? Can I even do anything? Unfortunately it is one I cannot answer, however luckily it seems that it was for now at least a one time thing, a natural consequence of the varying levels of motivation that I tend to have. I suppose, also, I am in fact working on answering that question, since I am going to therapy, but I suppose also, that finding the answer to something like that is going to take a rather long time indeed.

In the meantime, I'll just have to try to overcome these phases as they occur however I can, and in the cases such as last week where I finally did accomplish actually producing something not being overly harsh on myself for not being perfect every time—especially since a big part of this whole process of doing it regularily is actually trying to improve and become better and when doing that one is going to have difficulties and less than perfect output, but that is merely a part of learning to be better at something, and even the best of us fail at times.

Misc

So, Holy

Something of a early-expansion phenomenon seems to be that holy (meaning priests, paladins are usually rather useful) are actually rather decent at times and sometimes even preferred over discipline, meaning I actually get the opportunity to use the spec at times again which has been somewhat fun.

The spec itself, actually does play rather decently again since Shadowlands prepatch, far away from the boring slog it was in Battle for Azeroth but still a lot slower than Legion unfortunately. Salvation is still something of an annoying spell to have, since while it is very powerful actually getting to use it at reasonable intervals means a somewhat decandent playstyle which isn't all that fun to execute on. Luckily, no fight so far has called for that so it's mostly just been used as a once-or-twice per fight kind of thing, where it slots in perfectly—probably even more the design-intent behind the spell.

Beyond Salvation though, holy's niche is in this strange place where its strength really lies in making the other healers shine, which while it does luckily work excellently in fights like Sun King's Salvation, doesn't really make a lot of sense in most other encounters especially when the alternative is to just bring a discipline priest since it's the same class. Oh, also, bigger raids do favor holy over discipline to a certain degree, since discipline is rather limited in the amount of targets it can heal and that is another area where I have found use for the spec, specifically in our boostraids since we tend to go over the 20 player mark.

What I'm really enjoying about the situation though, is the versatility in gameplay it brings having the opportunity to actually play both specs on a regular basis and have it make sense, since no matter how fun either spec is getting to switch it up with both of them actually being enjoyable is much better. I'm also curious to see what some of the later bosses bring to the table in this regard, I've heard some rumblings that there is something later on that can be cheesed a bit with the Redemption-legendary that became available this week, and I'm looking forward to seeing what exactly that ends up entailing. Getting there might take a bit though, we're slowly starting to get to the difficult bosses in the raid so progress is slowing down somewhat, hopefully we're not too many weeks away from me getting to actually test it all out.

World of Warcraft

Legacy

This blog, in its various incarnations and designs, is a bit over five years old with a hundred-and-odd posts. When I started writing, I'm not really sure what I envisioned for it, I think I merely found the idea of being someone with a blog cool and decided to go with it, consequently probably not being prepared for the effort of actually keeping up with the writing especially as my interest in the main topic of the blog at the time—World of Warcraft—waned.

Still, years later, I somehow thought of this whole project again and kept writing sporadically, primarily still focused on the realm of the one game and the blogs of yore that had inspired me in the first place. I dabbled in things like writing thoughts and guides of a sort on the bosses we killed—probably a terrible idea, it didn't bring me much joy and I consequently didn't do a great job of the whole thing—along with I guess the occasional mini-"review" of some of the other games I had ended up playing, with it all culminating really in the last half year or so where I have been trying to produce something for the blog every week.

At this point in time, I've come to the realisation that I should stop trying to, well, produce something and just create and write what really strikes my fancy, since this has really just evolved into an outlet for me to do some writing without too much meaning or consequence which does increase my enjoyment of the whole thing by quite a bit. I think, to a certain degree, were someone to ever stumble upon this thing and actually start reading, that enjoyment of the process would also show through in the actual end content and thus hopefully be a more enjoyable read as well.

All of this growth and discovery does make it somewhat difficult for me personally to go back and look at some of the older things I have written, since there is a certain tinge of regret not only in the things I thought I should be focusing on but also—especially given, as said, the last year of so of somewhat high activity—how little I have written at times. To be sure, this is a leasure activity for me and to a certain degree making it even so regimented as I have now done with any schedule at all does at times mean that one's heart isn't into the creating a hundred percent, yet at the same time it does make it more of a priority to find time to do something I enjoy as well as allowing me to become that much better since I force myself to actually practice instead of putting things off indefinitely.

From looking back to looking forward, what then are my plans for the future for this small space on the internet that I call my own? As of yet, I am not sure. I think, as far as content goes, it will be as was outlined above, whatever I feel like I want to write about that I also feel comfortable sharing with the public. As for the site itself, I have considered changing the design—yet again—and potentially even the name, to free myself from the shackles of the past as it were. While the current design is something I do quite enjoy, it also makes a very clear statement as to the content of the site which might not be quite honest anymore. The name, similarily, is also a reference to World of Warcraft and my main there with the added bit of rambling because I wanted to give myself some freedom as to what I wrote about within the context of the game even if I don't think I'm overly prone to actually rambling at least in so far as the length of my posts go. That was, admittedly, a really rambly sentence though.

What these changes would look like, however, I have no idea as of yet. A small retrospective simply felt right with this being the last post of the year—at least for those of us on the Gregorian calendar. With that, let us hope the coming year provides us all with more opportunities to happiness than the past one.

Uncategorized

Reading

I recently found a little time to do some reading again, partially inspired by my mother who had done it as well, and I have to say there is something really calming about it even if the material I was reading this time around wasn't such a light read for me. I really don't know what it is about it, but it just seemed to have a very relaxing effect for me—or perhaps I managed to read because I felt relaxed in the moment?

This, of course, makes me somewhat sad that to a great degree I seem to have lost the ability I had in my youth of simply engrossing myself completely in a book and doing nothing else days on end than reading, but perhaps this is also a matter of not having found the right book for that in a long time. To be fair, I have also done a lot less looking for that book now than in earlier times, and at least as far as gaming goes I think Pillars of Eternity II proved to me that the capability to engross myself in something so completely is still there if I find the right story to focus me.

Perhaps a part of this is as well, that the kind of books I have been reading recently have mostly been with some sort of learning in mind, either directly through the content of the book or indirectly through the books language, which while fun in its own right is still draining to a degree which makes it that much more difficult to simply engross oneself in the content. At the same time, the last book I've read, Because Internet, was also purely research and factual yet I did enjoy that read greatly and felt more limited by the time I had available than the content of the book in my reading speed.

So perhaps that is merely the problem, me not having prioritised reading to a sufficient degree to actually go and search books I want to read sufficiently badly in order to actually keep on spending whole days doing that, along with not necessarily having those full days to spend on such an activity—or at least not setting aside a whole day for something like that, I did do it with gaming and Pillars as well as more recently World of Warcraft during the new expansion launch.

It is often said that identifying the problem is half of the solution, so now that I have done that do I think anything is likely to change for me? At the end of the day, probably not. I still enjoy reading and there is definitely a desire in me to find more of those moments where I can sneak away a page or twenty, but those day-long marathons are not likely to feature prominently at least in my imminent future due to other priorities at the moment, gaming and otherwise. Still, knowing that the potential is still probably there is also something of a comfort, and maybe one day in the not-too-distant future I will once again make use of it.

Misc